Living with flatmates can be one of the most rewarding and exciting experiences of your life — be it in college or during your early professional life. But it can also lead to considerable frustrations, especially if you’re trying to balance time spent with your flatmates and your need for personal space. Here are five tips for maintaining a healthy balance between a fun, sociable life and a private, individual one.

1. Set Clear Boundaries from the Start

After all, you’re going to be living with these people, so it’s important to talk and be honest about expectations on basic things like privacy and socializing. Talk to your flatmates early on about how you see the space working and what is acceptable. Talk about how you plan to use space (do you need a quiet place to study, or do you prefer it to be a social area?), what times of day you plan to be quiet (and when you won’t!) and how you’ll handle visitors. Talking about your preferences can help you avoid awkwardness and misunderstandings later on; for example, if you know you have to be up early for work or class on weekday mornings, let them know from the start that you’d prefer not to host social events on weeknights.

2. Respect Shared and Personal Spaces

Every house has shared spaces and private ones. Shared spaces include kitchens and living rooms, and private spaces include bedrooms and bathrooms. Respecting these different zones can go a long way in honoring each other's privacy. Keep shared spaces tidy and clean, and ask permission before using items that belong to other people – even if the item is in a shared space. In turn, treat your flatmates’ personal spaces the same way you want them to treat yours. Knock before entering bedrooms, and don’t assume that you can borrow flatmates’ belongings without asking permission. This mutual respect will make all the flatmates feel comfortable and safe in the home.

3. Schedule ‘Me Time’

Respect the need for social time as well as alone time. It is important to spend time alone for your mental health, even if you live in a communal setting. If you can, arrange a time for yourself, whether that is reading a book, taking a walk, engaging in a solitary hobby, or studying. For example, if you plan on using a masterful essay writing service at Academized and spend your evening studying, but your study area is a shared space, you need to plan this out with your flatmates in advance. This way, you will know that no one else is planning to use the desk at the same time as you, and your plans to catch up on your homework will not be compromised.

If your alone time will happen in a space you share with other flatmates, let them know your plan – for example, tell them that you want to watch a movie by yourself in the living room. This way, they can plan around it and make sure to get space in communal areas for their own individual time as well.

4. Create a Shared Calendar for Social Activities

One way to manage social life in a communal living environment is via a shared digital calendar. As a tool for social coordination, this can help to ensure that events are on the books and that everyone is aware of the schedule. This is a respectful and efficient way to ensure that all flatmates know when the flat is open for socializing and when it needs to be a quiet place to relax or study.

Effective Use of a Shared Calendar:

• Mark important dates, like exams or early morning meetings, when quiet is essential.
• Schedule social events, ensuring all flatmates agree on the date and time.
• Note visitors, like overnight guests, so everyone is aware and can prepare accordingly.
• Plan cleaning days to keep shared spaces enjoyable for everyone.

5. Develop Conflict Resolution Skills

Even with the best of intentions, conflicts can still happen. Having strong conflict-resolution skills is key to living with flatmates. If something comes up about privacy or socializing, speak to those involved and be as calm and diplomatic as possible. Ask for your flatmates’ side of the story, and then work together to come up with a solution that takes everyone’s needs into account. Maintaining a cooperative and positive attitude during these conversations can help prevent conflicts from getting worse and can only enhance the flatmate relationship.

Harmony in Shared Living

While living with flatmates might mean sharing physical space and spending time together, it doesn’t have to mean feeling like your social life is at risk or that your private space will be compromised. By setting boundaries, respecting shared and private spaces, scheduling downtime, using tools such as a shared calendar, and practicing conflict-resolution skills, you can create a living situation where you feel like the home is both respectful and lively. These tools help cultivate a harmonious balance to create an environment where you can enjoy your home in a way that satisfies your social and private needs. The key to making any shared house feel like home is communication and respect. Good luck!